


Strange Lunch

by yodasyoyo



Series: 2000 tumblr followers celebration! (Stony fics) [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bodyswap, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 23:45:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19711951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yodasyoyo/pseuds/yodasyoyo
Summary: “So you can fix it?” Steve asks, hopefully. As much as he likes Thor, he really wants Tony back in his own body sooner, rather than later. It’s their wedding anniversary this weekend, and barring world-ending catastrophes Steve has plans. Plans that involve Tony being, well, Tony.





	Strange Lunch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [captain_buddha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_buddha/gifts).



> So I hit 2000 followers on tumblr recently, and started taking prompts-- and this was one of them:  
> Written for the wonderful captain_buddha, who prompted:
> 
> If you're still taking prompts, how about “I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas” for Stony.
> 
> This is set in an undetermined Marvel Universe. Although, in my mind Tony had more of an MCU flavor, and Thor was a little more 616, (in terms of his speech patterns, at least).

For a long moment horrified silence falls upon the usually serene halls of the Sanctum Sanctorum.  
  
“Dr. Strange told you not to touch it.” Steve says, as he kneads his temple with the tips of his fingers. Thank God for the serum, or he’d probably be developing a migraine right about now. “He told all of us not to touch it. It was the one instruction he left us with.”  
  
“Yeaaah. I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas,” Tony, well, Tony-in-Thor’s-body replies. “Although in fairness this was less of an idea and more of a reflex.” He stares down at his new form, eyeing the arms in particular, then flexes one. “Holy shit, would you look at that?” he mutters, prodding the bulging bicep. “What is that even? Look at the size of it! Is that even anatomically possible?”  
  
“Verily,” Thor-in-Tony’s-body says, “At least, I believe it is no mere quirk of Asgardian biology, but perfectly possible to achieve for a Midgardian who is prepared to-”  
  
“Can we just-” Steve says, cutting him both off with a sigh. “Can we go back to the part where you-” Here he looks at Tony. “-touched the magical artifact that Dr. Strange specifically told us not to touch?”  
  
“Caught,” Tony says. “I caught it. Because Thor backed into the stand it was on and it fell, and I didn’t want it to break.”

“I know. I was there,” Steve grits out.  
  
“Right, so. I can’t really blamed.”

“I must agree,” Thor says. “While our dear friend Anthony has indeed made many errors times past, and exhibited flawed judgement on innumerable occasions, with the best of intentions, no doubt—”

“Thanks buddy.” Tony executes a sloppy salute, it looks so incongruous on Thor’s body. Is so utterly Tony, Steve can’t help but smile a little.  
  
“–The blame for this egregious error lies on my shoulders alone. The guilt is mine, and so must the remedy be.”  
  
“So you can fix it?” Steve asks, hopefully. As much as he likes Thor, he really wants Tony back in his own body sooner, rather than later. It’s their wedding anniversary this weekend, and barring world-ending catastrophes Steve has plans. Plans that involve Tony being, well, Tony.   
  
“Because we need to fix this before Strange finds about it,” Tony adds. “He’ll never let us forget it.”  
  
“Exactly.” Steve agrees with a shudder.  
  
“Well,” Thor shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot. “No, I confess I do not have the knowledge to fix it, but fear not, Captain. I shall make it my quest to find a way to return your husband to you safe and whole in his own body. My mother, Frigga, will have the answer, and I shall call upon her directly to gain her advice!” He holds out a hand with purpose, a look of determination on his face.  
  
After a long beat, Steve and Tony stare at each other and then back at Thor. “Ok, bud,” Tony says and reaching out he tries to shake Thor’s hand. “That’s great.”  
  
“No, no.” Thor says, snatching his hand back. “That’s not— I am calling Mjolnir, not reaching for your hand.”  
  
“Oh!” Tony shuffles back a bit, and promptly catches his foot on his cape. Thor’s cape. The cape he is currently wearing because he’s in Thor’s body. “Right. Sorry,” he says as Steve reaches out a hand to steady him. “My bad.”  
  
Thor stretches out one commanding hand again. It’s odd to see that pose on Tony’s smaller, slighter frame. Not least because when this happened, Tony was wearing his cat tee and a ratty gray suit jacket- not exactly the attire of a Norse God. Steve covers his mouth with his hand to suppress a smile. Thor’s brow (or Tony’s, god this is complicated, Steve is so done with the whole thing) wrinkles as he tries to concentrate.  
  
“Is this what I look like when I’m constipated?” Tony whispers after a long moment.  
  
“I wouldn’t know,” Steve says out the corner of his mouth. “But probably.”  
  
“It is. Not. Working.” Thor grits out, sweat beading on his brow. “Why is it not working?”  
  
“Maybe it’ll come for me,” Tony quips. “Mjolnir, here boy.” He whistles, the way Steve’s heard people whistle in the park for their dog. Tony doesn’t even extend his hand properly.  
  
Immediately there’s the sound of breaking furniture, a rushing wind and then Mjolnir barrels past Steve and straight into Tony’s barely waiting grasp at lightning speed.   
  
“Oof.” The sheer unexpectedness of it seems to take Tony by surprise and the hammer rebounds out of his grip and hits him in the face. “Holy shit,” he groans, staggering backwards and clutching at his face, he backs into a plinth with something ancient looking on it, and it topples backwards hitting something else, which in turn hits something else, like dominoes. “Oh god. Thor, I think I broke one of your teeth,” Tony calls.  
  
Steve hurries over to check on him, where he’s curled over, groaning in pain, and puts an arm around him. “Tony, are you ok?” He glances round the room, taking in the sheer level of destruction.  
  
Thor on the other hand seems remarkably unworried about either the tooth situation, or the room. Instead he rushes straight to the place where Mjolnir fell, his hands grip the handle, as he strains to lift it. “I. Am. Worthy,” he grunts, muscles bunching. “I. Am.”

-  
  
None of them hear the door open behind them.   
  
None of them even register Stephen Strange’s appearance until he’s standing in the middle of them, a large paper bag clutched in the curl of his fist, although they all startle guiltily when he sighs loudly.   
  
“Ok, I don’t know what’s going on here, but next time,” he says, looking about himself. “One of you is picking up the lunch order.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, if you felt like leaving comments or kudos on this nonsense then I'm judging you a little but I am also eternally grateful to you! 
> 
> Also you can find me on [tumblr,](http://yodas-yo-yo.tumblr.com/) where this fic was initially posted :D
> 
> Also I feel the need to add a disclaimer: Thor's professed opinions on Tony Stark do not *necessarily* reflect the authors. Although frankly, one of the things I love best about him is that he is flawed and has made mistakes, but keeps on trying. Characters who are like that are the most fun to write, as well as the easiest to love, lbr :)


End file.
